It's a Matter of Integrity

With America celebrating her 232nd birthday I can't help but to sit and think of our founding fathers. What would they say if they were here today? They were men of integrity and prayed for God to guide them as they prepared our Declaration of Independence and The Constitution. As we look to our future for our next generation, what are we passing down to them?

From what I can see, this generation is passing down a 'free thinkers' philosophy that excludes God from being a part of our thoughts and intentions. The next generation is being fed with the idea that they should do what 'feels' good, and following the stars, as they seek to dress and act like today's celebrities. When we hear about Brittany Spears losing custody of her children and having struggles with drugs and alcohol, is this really the direction we want the next generation to go? Each time a young celebrity becomes the next teen celebrity, I cringe at the thought of what will become of them.

It seems to me that the world no longer wants integrity.

By Definition:
Integrity- adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

Moral- of, pertaining to, or concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct or the distinction between right and wrong; ethical:

Ethical- pertaining to or dealing with morals or the principles of morality; pertaining to right and wrong in conduct.

Right- 1. in accordance with what is good, proper, or just: right conduct.

2.	in conformity with fact, reason, truth, or some standard or principle; correct: the right solution; the right answer.

3.	correct in judgment, opinion, or action.

Do our country's leaders and possible future leaders portray these principles of integrity? So just where does integrity come from originally?

Job 31:6," Let me be weighed in an even balance that God may know mine integrity."

Psalm 25:21, "Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee."

Proverbs 19:1, "Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool."

We know that our country's leaders aren't perfect, because God has said in Romans 3:10, "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:" Yet, we should expect them to live with integrity. A person with integrity that makes a mistake will offer an humble apology and seek forgiveness. As a young lady, it is very important that you learn from your parents how to vote. Keep updated on what's going on in the political realm and seek wisdom from your parents in matters of government. The people who are the mayors and governors of today, could very well be the next president and congressmen of the future. If the Lord tarries His coming, you may be the next generation of voters and it's important that we know who, in our government, is walking in integrity.

Who will be the next mayor of your city? Do you know who plans to run for the next election where you live? Is there a man your family knows that truly walks in integrity that is interested in the city politics? Can he be convinced to run for mayor?

I've never been one to be at the political debates and city meetings, but with the direction our country is going, I feel that we should be teaching young people how to make wise decision in regards to their future leaders. The parents of generations past should have been passing this important part of our education down to us.

You can become involved in your city's future even if you're not approaching voting age. Here are a few things you can do now:

1- Pray. Begin to pray now for the future leaders of our country. Pray that God raises up the men that He wants us to have, and not what our country deserves to have.
2- Write a letter to your local newspaper's editor about how you feel about the integrity of our leaders. Include what you expect in the city's leadership, what disappoints you, and what you hope to see in the future.
3- Avoid tabloid stories about politicians. Be sure that what you know is fact.
4- Seek your parents wisdom in regards to these tips and ask for guidance when writing letters and calling politicians.
5- Write to your mayor and governor and let them know how you feel. Many politicians have their e-mail addresses listed right on their websites.

Our leaders are to uphold the law and to listen to the people of their cities, states, and country. How else will they know how we feel if we don't contact them and let them know? I'm not suggesting that you join picket lines, chain yourself to a tree, or pin up a 10 foot banner in front of your home, but you can do your part by letting your voice be heard, then leave the rest to God.

As children we were taught to pledge allegiance to the flag, pray for our leaders, support our troops, and love this country as the land of the free and the home of the brave. We learned patriotic songs, to wear the country's colors proudly, and to celebrate our nation's birthday every 4th of July. As we pass on our patriotism to the next generation, let's hand them something to be proud of. Let's be sure that integrity doesn't get lost in the sea of free thinkers. Young ladies, you will be raising the next generation. Please continue to pass the torch of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It's a matter of integrity!

It's The Journey That Matters

The other day I saw a bride hug her daddy for the last time as she prepared to leave for her honeymoon. What a sweet moment that was! My daughter, Moni, looked at me and said, "Mom, are you crying?" As a matter of fact I was crying. You see I can remember the last hug I ever gave my daddy before he passed away. I recall that moment like it was yesterday. He walked into my room and out of no where just hugged me and didn't let go. He held me in his arms and told me how much he loved me. I remember thinking, "Wow this is nice, but I wonder what this is all about." You see, it wasn't like my dad to do that with me. I can remember that hug as if it just happened five minutes ago. I was standing in the doorway of my room, facing the hallway, when he came in.

About a year later, my dad and I parted ways. It was not a good parting. I was a bitter, immature teen and closed the door of my heart on my dad. The last time I saw him was from a distance as I drove away after refusing to speak to him. A few months later he passed away. I cannot explain to you how much of a burden that was on me for many years later. God dealt mightily with my heart and it took much prayer to come to the place where I could forgive him for his mistakes and confess my own.

Here we are sixteen years later and each time I see a tender moment between a daughter and her daddy, I cry. Father's day is always painful for me. I arrive at church with a smile on my face, wishing all the other dads a happy Father's Day, yet I bite my tongue and hold back the tears. By the time our Pastor stands to give his Father's Day greetings to the congregation I have to excuse myself and take a walk outside. For many years I spend that hour in my car waiting for my family to get out of church.

In my arrogance and immaturity I failed to enjoy the journey. The journey that I took with my dad in the years we did have together. I have a half sister from his second marriage, named Heidi. I didn't get to grow up with my sister, as a matter of fact I barely know her. I had a few days where I got to finally reunite with her before our daddy passed away. I lost touch with her after my departure from town, but she called me a few years after he left this world. You see, she didn't get to know him very well while she was growing up. Heidi wanted to know if everything her mother told her about our daddy was true or not.

I responded with this, "Heidi, our daddy wasn't perfect by any means. He made mistakes just like we do. I can tell you about his mistakes or I can tell you about the wonderful memories I had with him and about the good things." I was so happy to hear her tell me that she chose to know the good things. I was able to share with her all the good times I had with him and about all his interests and hobbies. I bragged about what a good husband he was to our stepmother, Alisha.

My children have never met their Grandpa Philip. Yet, I do all I can to use my mistake as an example to them when it comes to their relationship with their own daddy, my husband. Each day you have an opportunity to spend time with your dad should be seen as a journey. Here is a short list of Do's and Don'ts to consider in honor of Father's Day.

Do tell your daddy that he's your favorite guy in the whole world.
Do tell your daddy how much you love him.
Do kiss him good night every night!
Call him at work and tell him that he's your hero.
Speak kindly and reverently to him.
Greet him at the door when he gets home and offer to carry something for him.
Serve him first at meal time.
Speak softy when he gets upset with you and apologize right away. Even if you think he's wrong.

Don't go to sleep angry with him.
Don't raise your voice at him.
Don't talk back. (Titus 2:9, " Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again" KJV)
Don't talk negative about him to others.
Don't walk away when he's talking to you.
Don't refuse to speak to him. (Giving him the silent treatment is not good for your relationship.)

Some girls hope for the day their dad buys them a red Ford Mustang, takes them to Hawaii, or buys them their first cell phone, but don't make that your focus in your relationship with your daddy. It's not what he gives you that makes the relationship good, it's the journey that matters. Cherish every hug you get!





Topics of Interest: children, fathers, relationships, hugs, dads, parenting, daughters, love, father's day, forgiveness,

It's Your Mother That Matters!

There were times while I was growing up that I wanted to spend the night at a friend's house and, while there, would be extra special and kind to my friend's mother. I wanted to be on my best behaviour. Have there been times when you've been at a friend's house and you were extra good? I wonder if we work as hard to be as kind to our own mothers?

Ephesians 6:2,"Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;" (KJV)


My mother taught me that any time I am a guest in someone's home that I should put forth extra effort to make my stay enjoyable to them. I would help clean up after myself and clear the table after dinner, I would help my friends with any chores they had, etc. My daughter, Lady Jess, really knows her way around a kitchen and every time she's with her friend she goes out of her way to help cook dinner and clean up afterwards. Her friend's mother tells her how much she appreciates her help. My daughter adores their family and always goes out of her way to take extra special care of her friend and her mother while in their home.

While all of this is very good and appreciated by any mother, what matters most is YOUR mother. I am pleased to know that Lady Jess does this for her friend and her mother, I am glad that she also does these things for me. Do you go the extra mile for your mother? We'd love to hear what you do for your mom. Please do leave a reply and share your ideas on how you make your mom feel that she matters most.

Family Matters

It's been just one full year since I saw my family spread so thin that we rarely had any time together as a family. My husband works, and each of my children at the time were all involved in various other activities that kept us all in different locations for extended periods of time. Now there is nothing sinful about going to a activity with good people and having godly fellowship, but when our schedule became so busy that there was no longer family time, then we had to make an adjustment in our lives. It was time to pull the family back in together.

Some may say that they wouldn't want to spend so much time with their parents, or siblings, and yet why is that? Why would a teen girl desire to be with her friends over choosing to be with her parents? Why is spending the night with a friend more important than being with your sister? Why is it that some parents want their child to get 'out of their hair' for a night? I can understand a mom and dad wanting to get our for a nice dinner together, it's important for the marriage to have time alone away from the children, but what I'm talking about is a parent who strongly desires to be away from their children just to be away from them.

The other day my girls were at a group meeting at church and my girls decided to sit together. A few of my older daughters friends asked why she had her little sister sitting with her. They questioned her as if this was an unpleasant thing. She spoke right up, without hesitation, and said she likes having her sister sit with her. This is not the normal response from most teens today.

I have found that since having my children home with me, it has brought our family closer together. If you wanted to learn how to be a great seamstress you would spend more time practicing your sewing skills. If you desired to be a better baker you would spend more time reading, studying, and practicing baking more. Let's say you wanted to learn graphic design, well then you would spend hours and hours perfecting your talent. Maybe you want to play the piano, do you spend just one or two hours a week practicing? As a stay at home mom with my children at home I have had so much more hands on practice being a mom and have seen such blessings come from this.

My family isn't perfect by any means. We have areas we each need to work on to become better people, yet we have seen such incredible improvements in our family relationships. Last night, as I was settling into bed, I noticed a light through the crack of the door jam. I was tired and not wanting to get up again, yet I didn't want to shout through a closed door and wake the rest of the family, so I got up to see who was still awake at such a late hour. As I quietly tip toed through the living room I could hear whispering coming from one of the rooms. As I leaned in to see what my older two girls were doing, I was so pleased to see that they were praying together. What a difference from the girls I knew just a year ago that wanted nothing to do with each other. Yes, bringing them home full time was indeed the best decision we made for our family.

Where are you in your family relationships? Where is your strongest desire in your relationships? Is your family the most important relationship you have aside of Christ? Are you placing more importance on your friends than your family? Do you forsake your sister to fit in with the girls you know?

Spending time with family is such a valuable asset to our lives. Now maybe your family isn't very connected this way. Maybe you trust your friends more than your family. I know that while I was growing up, I became closer to my friends than my family and had my parents tried to keep me away from my friends, I would have rebelled. I grew up in the public school, spending large portions of time with my friends and once I became a young teen, I chose spending the night with friends over going to see family members in another city.

Both my parents worked long hours and my mom taught me to cook the family's dinner over the phone. By the time we came to sit at the table for dinner, we had just about fifteen minutes to chat over dinner then it was time for me to clean the kitchen. After that it was time to prepare for bed and then onto another day with a similar schedule. I used to look forward to the weekends when my parents had time off, until I was a teen. Once I was about fifteen years old I could take the bus or ride my bike to a friend's house. Once I was sixteen and had my driver's license, I was ready to go from school to work each night. My family time became less and less until I didn't want to go back.

I became eighteen years old during the school year and moved out before I even graduated high school. I still graduated and worked hard to provide for myself, but my family relationships became so weak. I rarely if ever called home to speak to my family. I recall my mom calling me to tell me that my sister missed me. She was just nine years old and I didn't want anything to do with a little sister. I was too busy and had my own life. Mom pleaded with me to spend time with my sister. I made arrangements to spend an afternoon with her, but only out of obligation to my mom. I loved my sister, but I didn't really know her. I hadn't spent much time with her at all.

Once I graduated from high school I moved to another state. I was such an independent girl, had a job, a car, and an apartment by the time I was nineteen years old. In the world today that would be seen as successful, yet my family was falling apart. My first birthday away from home I didn't hear from anyone! When I called my grandma to talk to her about my frustration she replied with such a sweet honest answer. "Lisa, you missed your Mother's birthday." Her words struck me with such a blow that I was speechless. I had become such a selfish person! I had to begin to mend my family relationships on my own. The ball was now in my court. Now maybe you'd say that the fault lies with my busy parents, and maybe so, yet I made my choices on my own. It was a long road back to becoming a family again and it took many years to mend our family connection and yet even now, seventeen years later, our family still struggles to maintain a solid relationship in unity. This is certainly not what I want to see happen within my own family now.

If you have a family that has a difficult time connecting, it's not too late to mend those relationships. Life isn't about friends, fun, and money. Life isn't about working a job, buying a car, or spending the night with a friend. It's the family that matters. Come by and review the tips that Mrs. D. shared last month in her article under Bridging the Gap, Mother and Daughter Time. Begin Bridging that Gap, and bring life back to your family today!

Ephesians 6:1-2, "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise." (KJV)

It's The Principle of The Matter

For those of you who drive, you know that when you see that stop sign it means STOP! It does not mean slow down and casually roll over the line then push on the gas. We know that at an intersection, that yellow means CAUTION, because the light is about to turn red, which means STOP. The green light, of course, means GO; but not if you're speeding. There is always a speed limit sign to inform us of the safest speed in which to drive.(Well, in the US it's like this)



Our government places these information signs on the road for our safety. They tell us what we can and cannot do. If we break those laws we are under judgment of the law and will suffer consequences. God works in a similar way. He tells us what we can do and what we must not do, and He also describes to us what the consequences will be. He does this for our own safety.



God told us in the book of Genesis that He had explained all this to Adam and Eve. He told them that He made the garden of Eden for them. He instructed them to care for the garden and all the animals. He also told them what they could eat. God gave them the trees, even the tree of life. The world today dreams of a mythical fountain of life to avoid growing old and dieing, yet the true tree of life was already given to us and yet mankind did not respect God's rules regarding this.

Genesis 2:9, "And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil."(KJV)

All Eve had to do was obey God. How much more simple could God have been? "You may eat of ALL the trees, even the tree of LIFE, but this ONE tree thou shalt NOT eat of." Obedience, you see it's the principle of the matter. God's Word is described as bring His principles.



The dictionary definition of principle is; 'a fundamental, primary, or general law or truth from which others are derived'. Fundamental is defined as; 'being an original or primary source'. To me it's clear, simply obey. Obeying is the fundamental principle that God gives us.

We struggle with obedience because we have a flesh that we war with everyday. However, the more we practice obeying the easier it becomes. In order to practice obedience we need to bite our tongues from speaking against our authorities, and just do it! Even if we are struggling on the inside, if we put obedience into practice the feeling of joy through obedience will grow within us.


If we continue to live in disobedience, then we must realize that there are consequences. For Adam and Eve their consequence was to taste death. They no longer could live forever and they had to work with their hands in the field. Eve had to suffer pain in childbirth as her consequence and placed under the authority of her husband to keep her safe from the enemy. She showed, by her example, that she didn't have the strength to avoid sin.





Genesis 2:16 & 17, "And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."(KJV)

Let's remember God's principle to obey. The word 'obey' is first seen in;

Genesis 22:18, " And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice."

There's a lot of time between Adam and Eve, and Abraham, yet the word obey does not appear in the Bible before Abraham's time. Let's put obedience into practice and let it not be said that obedience was not taught until our great great grandchildren are born.

A Matter of Life and Death

A young lady arrived in Sunday School a few minutes early in hopes of finding an empty seat next to her friend. She truly wanted to sit with her and enjoy the lesson side by side. Upon entering the room, as she slowly peered over the rows she did indeed find her friend's Bible and purse placed on a chair next to an empty seat. She excitedly placed her own sparkling blue covered Bible and her handbag in the front row right alongside her friend's chair. In the second row just behind them sat a few other girls she knew and she happily greeted them with a friendly hello.

A few moments later, her friend came strolling by, only she did not look too cheerful. She glared at the blue Bible accompanied by the handbag and snapped at the young girl, "What is YOUR stuff doing there? I was saving that seat for someone else!"

Confused and with dashed hopes the young girl frowned and cautiously extended her sincerest apology, "I am so sorry, I just wanted to sit with you. I didn't know you were saving the seat for anyone. There wasn't anything on the chair and I was so happy to be able to find a chair next to you." The young girl's sincere apology made no difference to the angry friend as she replied with haste, "Well SOMEONE should have TOLD you!"

She turned to the row of girls behind her and snapped, "You should have told her!" Much to their amazement they matter of factly responded with the only truth they knew as they unanimously said, "We didn't know you were saving the seat."

Meanwhile a few other girls entered the room and the perturbed friend critically expressed to them in that same harsh voice, "You'll HAVE to sit by her!" As she rolled her eyes and let our a deep sigh, one of the girls did sit by the young girl and began a pleasant conversation, making it obvious that she paid no attention to this angry female.

As the young girl went home after church to discuss this with her mother, her heart was heavy with pain and confusion. Her once gleeful countenance had been stained with utter devistation. She felt as though her heart would die.

You may have heard it said before, "It's a matter of life and death." That's exactly what happens to the spirit when we wield our untamed tongue on of the ear and soul of a fellow human being. Be cautious of your tongue ladies, for you never know how damaging your words can be.

Proverbs 18:21, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." (KJV)