Bridging the Gap: Extending Grace in a Girl's Life

It is a great shame that we do not fully understand just how much grace has been afforded us as Believers. And I do not think we know. If we knew, it would not be so hard for us to extend grace to others. As we celebrate freedom this month, we must reflect on the true freedom we have as Believers: the freedom from sin through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. We must look at the grace we have been afforded from the eternal punishment we really deserve.

I wonder, though, if we realize how much our sin cost our Lord. When others sin against us, do we count their sin as so much that we cannot afford them the grace to forgive, forget and just make a mistake once in awhile?


When the girls were younger, I heard the idea that, instead of doling out a punishment for every offense, we could teach grace by occasionally giving them grace instead of punishment, teaching them that they do deserve punishment, but instead they are receiving grace for their sin. Not always giving them grace, but enough to make an impact in their souls about what grace is.
The girls and I were talking about grace last week. Why are we so quick to desire grace and so slack in giving it? We want to say we are sorry and be forgiven. We want the offended to not bring it up again, but are we slow to wrath at the offense of another?



What a blessing to teach this to our daughters from the very first chance of understanding we get with them. What a blessing they will be and have as wives and moms to afford unmerited grace to their husbands and unsuspecting children who will then be taught in example the loveliness of a gracious spirit! Oh how I wish I was a gracious spirit to my husband and children. How I wish I was kind and sweet-tempered in nature! What heartache could have been spared our family if I were a gracious and graceful mother and wife.
But, it is never too late. God is merciful and full of grace. He does reward us when we ask, even thought we can never deserve His love and kindness to us.


What are some things we can do to teach our children about grace?

The Bible is the best place for moms and daughters to go for truth.
Bottom line, we can suppose and try to understand things all day, but until God speaks it into our hearts, we won't get it.
Reading the Word and getting an understanding of who God is is key.
Study the Word with your daughter.
Take time and create a Bible study just for you and your girl/s.
Make it a special girls' time; a time of laughing and prayer and understanding each others' fears and hopes.
Do a key word study on sin and grace.
Find a good Biblical book on how to be a graceful woman of God.

Always look to forgive.
Always look to extend grace to the offender, whether you feel like it or not.
Make time to discuss and use examples of grace or unforgiveness with your daughter or your mother.
Allow the Holy Spirit to touch your heart deeply in this area.
If you are offended, ask yourself, "Am I being harsh or graceful in this situation?".

Lastly, remember that it is ok to ask God when you don't understand.

Bridging the Gap~

Bridging the Gap: Encouraging Honor: Dad

Fathers have a great responsibility to train their children up in the admonition of the Lord. I have searched and searched the Bible, looking for a Scripture verse that gives Mom the responsibility to teach and train her children, and I always come up short on verses and examples in Scripture directed to just Mom. Though we as a society always look to Mom first in the area of child training, the weight of Spiritual training, protection and learning actually falls to Dad.

Deuteronomy 6:6
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Most of us know that the Old testament speaks to fathers, because it was common knowledge in the Jewish faith that caring and providing for the family was his responsibility. The New Testament tells us that it is a man who must know how to rule his own house,

1Timothy 3
4One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 5(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

So, since Dad is the main man when it comes to leading our children to the Lord, where does that leave us Moms, who are usually in closer contact and training, time-wise, of our children? It leaves us just where the Father has placed us: under headship and in helping our husbands, the fathers of our children. I can tell you, from my own experience, that sometimes it is not an easy task to "just be the helper", instead of in charge in the parenting partnership. But, we must look to the Word and not the world for our understanding of this.

Genesis 2:18

And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him.

I stated in A Mother's Listening Heart that I do not believe Mother's Day is the particular day to honor moms, and neither do I believe that Father's Day should be the one day a year to give due honor to Dad. In fact, I know that it cannot be. Fathers must be honored and respected each and every day of the year. Since Dad is given the mandate to train His children up, he is also given the greatest responsibility upon his shoulders. We moms can either lighten the load or make it so heavy it will seem unbearable. As moms, we can encourage our children each and every day to honor and show love to Dad.

Ephesians 6 tells our children, "1Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." There is no stipulation as to when to honor parents, just that they are to do it in the Lord, for this is right. It follows that we are to teach our children to honor their fathers in the Lord for this is right. Not to honor because of this or that, or to honor when we feel like it or get something or any other reason other than, "for this is right".

Dads deserve a great honor. Dads have a responsibility that, frankly, I don't want. I do not want to have to be the one with the responsibility of bread-winner, soul-trainer, protector, and admonisher. I am happy being my husband's helper. He has such a huge job, working in this world, paying all of our bills, providing all of our needs and going to the Lord to offer all of this at His feet. Add in the pressures the world places him on him to be sensitive, spend time with the kids, buy them all kinds of things they probably don't need, lead, let mom lead, give the kids their freedom, protect them. Is it any wonder God mandated that Dad be honored by his children and respected by his wife? And, with no stipulations. Not, "when Daddy buys me things", or "When Daddy stays home with me," or even, "When Daddy is happy."

These are the times I can lift Daddy up even more to our children and encourage them to honor Daddy in the most important way: To pray for him. There is something about praying with your children for their Daddy that automatically takes them to a level of love and encouragement and honor for their Dad. And, I have that distinct honor of doing that with our children, so that they will fulfill God's plan of honoring Daddy in their lives.

In addition to prayer, what can I do as Mom to encourage our children to honor Daddy? Here are some ideas:

I am home with our children all day. We cook, clean and learn all day. Training our children how to care for the things that Matt works hard for is a good way to show respect and appreciation for Daddy. I am also teaching my girls how to be a lovely wife by cheerfully training the Littles how to behave so that Daddy's limited time at home is peaceful and not always a time of correction.

Matt has a list of things he likes to have done when he comes home. We try to make sure the house is presentable when he walks in the door.

Matt likes to have peas for most meals. Now, I will be honest here, and tell you that most of our children now hate peas, because we have had them so many times in the past year! But, we serve peas often, because Daddy likes them. And, along with that, we don't complain about having them, either!

Preference: I help my children to defer to Daddy when they want something or want to do something, like, eat the last cookie or get into the shower. Daddy works hard, and he deserves preference.

Remembering to do the tasks Daddy has asked for the day.

Matt occasionally asks me or our children to do a specific task, like mow the lawn. I can help them to honor Daddy by reminding them to do it and encouraging them to do it cheerfully for Daddy.

Greeting Daddy when he comes home, serving his dinner hot, filling his cup, and serving him in this manner are ways wives and daughters can love and respect Daddy after he has spent an entire day working to provide for our home and our comforts.

Tell Daddy you love him and appreciate his hard work often!

All these little things are not too much to do to show our love and appreciation for Dad!! Let's celebrate Father's Day this year as the continuation of honoring Dad daily or starting fresh and making a new commitment! Daughters have a special place in Daddy's heart, and Daddy has a special place in his daughter's heart. Let's continue to encourage our daughters to honor, love and place a high Godly value on Daddy and His place in our lives.

A Mother's Listening Heart

Sitting on the couch working on the laptop, I can hear just about everything that is going on around our house. Inside. Outside. There is nothing that escapes my hearing. I hear the older girls talking to each other about friends and what they are writing. I hear the quick tapping of fingers on the keyboard. I hear the Littles outside talking to each other; Hannah is directing them as she rides her bike around the yard. I can hear cars that pass on the road a ways down and roosters crowing.
I hear Lucy's soft breath as she sleeps at my feet.

In honor of Mother's Day, I want to encourage you this month, Moms. I want to commend you in your love and your good works in fulfilling one of the highest callings you have: to care for and shape the lives of your children. To hear their wants. To hear their hearts. To daily fill them with just what the Lord has for them for their lives. Not just for changing their diapers or wiping up the muddy floors, but especially for educating their hearts and minds and teaching them how to love the Lord in their daily lives.

It is not always easy to stay at home and care for our homes and our children. It's amazing how we get caught up in daily life and before we realize it, so much has passed. Some days, it seems that the pressure is too much or even that we aren't cut out for the huge responsibility it is to teach and train and raise a child from a sweet and snuggly little pumpkin to a God-fearing, considerate and loving adult.

Psalm 34:17
The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

Sometimes we don't hear their hearts. Sometimes we can't. It is so hard in our home to find peace and quiet sometimes, that feeling overwhelmed can be quite easy. Sometimes the cries of the heart are my own. And sometimes it seems as though those cries are overpowered by the cries of my children. Or the phone. Or the dog. Or the goats! In all of this, I cannot lose sight of the fact that it is an honorable career to be a mother. More than that, it is my heart, my calling. In quiet moments, I know it is my heart. I know that mothers are shaping the future of the world and directing souls to heaven. We are honoring the Lord.

I assure you that our cries are heard by Our Heavenly Father. I can assure you that crying out to God is your safest defense. It becomes the greatest joy. It will refresh you and sustain you through loads of dishes, piles of school books and endless chores. It will strengthen you to teach your children daily and not count on it to just be caught. It will give you the desire for knowledge and wisdom and enable you to hear the instruction from the Lord. All of this is necessary to be the woman and mother who is fully the Lord's and can impart the fear of the Lord to her children.

Proverbs 1:7-9
7The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. 8My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 9For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

Being teachable and listening to their hearts. Sometimes my children's words and attitudes can be deceiving. I am learning to listen to their hearts and watch their reactions and encourage them. It is healing to my heart to realize a broken heart or see a spontaneous or deep joy in my children's eyes. It is my calling. It is my heart.

I have not yet seen the end of parenting any of our children yet, but I have seen the fruits of enduring and hoping and knowing that His ways are higher than mine and that He is able to do more than I could ever hope to do. I am still listening. I am listening to the Lord, listening to my husband and listening to the hearts of my children.

Mother's Day this year is May 11th. I would encourage daughters to honor your mothers on this day and think of all the reasons you need to spend this next year honoring her each day. I think everyday should be mother's day. I think every day should be father's day too. This is God's plan: to honor your Father and Mother daily. Moms, keep their hearts. Keep them for the Lord.

Keeping their hearts ~ Bridging the gap~

Bridging the Gap: Mother ~ Daughter Time

Ephesians 5:15-17

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.

Having had three daughters first, we have always done things together as mom and daughters. Amanda and I started our relationship when I first held her tiny little newborn frame in my arms. I don't know that I had held such a new baby before then. And so began our love as mother and daughter. I have almost always been at home with her, watching her and playing with her, teaching her as we did all things. When she was still little, we would sing and dance together as we played Bible songs on tape. We took walks to look at the neighborhood animals or the pretty flowers, just to enjoy the sunshine. It is so easy to teach a little child as we are walking along talking, Amanda didn't even know she was learning!

Amanda and I were soon joined by two more daughters. Each time we were expecting a new baby, we talked about how we would love the new baby and care for her. We did all the 'mommy things' together; rocking our babies, nursing our babies, pushing them in their strollers. We were best friends. With two more sisters to join us, we played in the sand, took long walks, and all got our hair done at Grandma's Shoppe. Talk about a girls' day out!

Deuteronomy 6:6, 7

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

After a few years, we were joined by a baby brother, but that didn't change much. Amanda and Jocelyn stayed home for school, Rachel played, and we all 'took care' of Eric. Life provides us with so many opportunities to do things together, we rarely have to create them! Playing mommy with their own real-life baby brother .

As the girls grew older, we were able to do different things together. In the past five years, with daughters who have aged from thirteen, eleven, nine and three to their now almost-grown-up eighteen, sixteen, fourteen and eight and under one, we have experienced many new activities together as we learn day-to-day. One thing that I have learned about spending time with my girls is that we can do almost any project or special occasion, no matter their age. When I was introduced to scrapbooking by a friend, I soon found out that I could also scrapbook with the girls. What fun we have had reminiscing, looking at old pictures and showing each other our best work. Even Rachel, who was only eight at the time loved watching and learning. We held our own parties together, which eventually turned into "their parties", and they set everything up and prepared the menus. They are very good and quite organized. They even completed some of their younger siblings' albums for me.

Many of the things that we enjoy and spend time together doing are simple things around our home. We also have loads of fun working projects for the family or gifts. There is a misconception that parents must spend a lot of money investing in the relationships with their children. The truth is that you can do it almost for free!

Ecclesiastes 3:1

To every thing there is a
season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

Here are just some of the other activities we enjoy together as mother and daughters:

Do a Bible Study Time
It is a important to read the Bible together as a family, but what fun to include our daughters as a part of growing in the Lord as a woman of God!

Read a Book Together
If you and your daughter love to read, this is a fun way to share time together. You can do it in the living room, at the coffee shop or discuss it as you drive places together.

Exercise
The girls are Tae-Bo fans. They love to exercise, and love to be in shape. They did buy their own DVDs, but you can also check your local library. I join them when I can. I love to be in shape, but don't love the exercise quite so much. I am learning!

Walking
Now this exercise I can handle. I love to walk! If I had two or three hours a day, I would walk. As a matter of fact, all of us walking together has been some of the most fun times we have had. It is a time you can walk with just one daughter and get to know her better, share some motherly wisdom or walk with more than one. It is fun and there are so many things to talk about.

Cooking
I love to cook. I remember making donuts and apple fritters when I was little with my sister and brother. I wasn't more than ten, I guess. I remember when my dad taught us how to make pasta and cut it. The times of my life! I let our girls in the kitchen. From the youngest to the smallest, they are in there with whomever is cooking meals or just about anything.

Baking
This is not the same as cooking. It's great to enjoy cooking together, but making cookies or a birthday cake or a favorite treat is just plain fun! We have also enjoyed learning how to make our own bread from scratch. Our Littles, ages four, eight and ten can follow a recipe and work in the kitchen to make a delicious batch of chocolate chip cookies!

Quilting and Sewing
Our oldest two decided they wanted to make quilts. I had never quilted before. Well, once on a field trip, but that barely counted. I didn't even own a sewing machine! We all worked together and made quilts, helping each other, spending time with each other. Now they can use a sewing machine, and they like it. We even still have another quilt to make or two.
They also have learned how to follow a pattern. We have made skirts, a bath robe, purses, pillow case, traveling bag, an everday bag, and othe smaller projects, just because they decided they wanted their own customized quilts.

Get a Blog
One of the most exciting and bonding things the girls and I have done is to all get a blog on HomschoolBlogger.com. Blogging gave us the opportunity to be responsible to each other, know the same circle of friends and to have new insight into each others' hearts and personalities. It has been a wonderful way for me to be involved in the girls' lives, reading their articles before they post them and commenting on their blogs.

Tea-time or Tea Parties
When Amanda was little, she had a plastic tea set. We pretended with it. Now, we use real tea cups with real tea. We don't even use a plastic one for the Littles, we let them join us sometimes. A lot of times our special tea-time is after the Littles go to bed when Rachel prepares and serves tea to us. It has become a special time. We are hoping to plan and have our own tea party, though, with china set out all proper.

Babysit for a Friend
Occasionally a friend may need help and this is a great opportunity to teach your daughter to give of her time. It can be fun to work together, spending time caring for Littles.

Other activities to share time doing:
Wash dishes.
Go grocery shopping.
Walk the dog.
Go shopping together for gifts.
Host a party or demonstration show together and earn free product
Read the current issue of your favorite magazine.
Clean the house together.

I am a blessed momma of five daughters. We enjoy being together, no matter the ages. I hope that some of our experiences will be of encouragement to you and your daughters to take time to enjoy each other as mothers and daughters.

Bridging The Gap - A Sweet Relationship

There are many things the relationship between mother and daughter can be. The world gives us a different attitude about motherhood than the Word does. The world's view is of one that is not really much of a relationship and totally without a Godly influence. It is seen as something that is only by means of blood-relations or selfishness, getting what you can get from the relationship. It is not of two loving hearts bound together working toward a common goal in the Lord.


On the other hand, the mother-daughter relationship the Word gives is very different. It can be that uncommon relationship of God's love, like the love Ruth showed to Naomi, her mother-in-law. A love that walks miles with the other, loving, denying one's self, lifting up in words and in prayer, working and providing for if necessary.


Most of us have relationships as mothers and daughters somewhere in -between those two types of relationships. A completely giving relationship is a rare find. Some of us have the lesser one. I believe mine with my mother was good until I started to care what the world had to offer me. I did not grow up in a Christian home, but my mother is one of the biggest Givers I know. She was easy to love. She cared about us and our lives. She put herself and her love into my life, and I returned it for awhile. Then I 'grew up', so I thought. I didn't need my mom as a daughter, in my own immature eyes. I turned to friends and listened to what they thought was best for me. They were wrong. I needed my mother, not their influences.


A Godly loving relationship as mother and daughter carries a sweetness that is uncommon in the world we live in. It is not a selfish relationship. It is out of a heart of love. A love for our daughters, a daughter's love for her mother, and a love for the Lord. The blessings we reap from such a relationship are so numerous, it would be hard to list them all. Even when there is conflict, when God is in it, His love comes through. Such a sweet relationship allows us to pray for our daughters and their futures according to what God may have for them.


I am so blessed to have five beautiful daughters. I remember when my oldest, who is now eighteen, was a little girl. What she doesn't realize is that she will always be my little girl. And now, as a young lady, she is my friend and confidante too. The sweetness of childhood is not gone, but changed. It is still there, but in a different measure. A measure she can experience as an eighteen-year-old daughter while seeing a different measure with her eight-year-old sister. Or her ten-month-old sister.

Our relationships will change as time passes. They will change as life changes. They will change as we each grow in the Lord. One of the loveliest things about a relationship between a mother and a daughter is that growing. The relationship will change, but the sweetness will remain, if we walk in love. It will be a bittersweet love at times, when things don't go as we think they should, but if it is rooted in God's love, it will always return to its sweetness.

Ephesians 5:2 tells us to "walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour."

As mothers and daughters, we can always be a sweet-smelling savour to our Lord. We can be that as mothers. We can be that as daughters. We can be that together. When we do that, walking in love, we will also be a sweetness to each other in our mother-daughter relationships.

blessings~

Moderator- Mrs. D, Jacque

I have wanted to be a wife and Mother for as long as I can remember. As a little girl, that was my dream. When I was in high school, I still thought that was what you did when you graduated: you got married and had a family. I was so disappointed when I went to live with my (bio-)Dad my senior year of high school, and he told me I had to go to college, whether I wanted to or not. Grades were easy enough, but the rest was a train wreck. Enough said. So, I spent a couple of years there, and eventually moved across the country to live with my Mom and Dad in NM, where I met my future husband. It was a few short months later, and my dream of being a wife and mother was now my life.

My Husband, Matt: We are coming up on our 19th anniversary. It seems like we have always been married, though I know 19 years is not that long really. He has been with me all along in this homeschooling adventure and has not wavered in this decision. My children from oldest to youngest are Miss Amanda, Miss Jocelyn, Lady Rachel, Sir Eric, Miss Hannah, Isaac, Caleb, and LucyLillie.

Jeremiah 6:16
Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.

We are a homeschooling family and definitely fall into the Eclectic category. I love unit studies and also the Heart of Wisdom Teaching Approach. The Bible-First just clinches it for me. I am not able to sit down and use all of the HOW curriculum, but that is the beauty of this method: It uses other methods like Unit Studies, Charlotte Mason, Child-directed and a few others. You will find us homeschooling in the barn, outside siding our house, researching our animals, finding how to care for the and mixing their feed… just about anything around here is a lesson. We love history. I am blessed to have children who love to read. And write. I say homeschooling is an adventure, and I don't know how else to describe it. Really. It is an adventure for everyone, Mom included. It's part of this adventure called life.

I started blogging at Seeking Rest in the Ancient Paths in April 2006. I carefully chose the name to reflect the journey God was re-starting in our lives and our homeschooling to draw us closer to Him. Blogging, to me, has become an extension of myself. It rejuvenates me and ignites my passions for both family and homeschooling. It has not just given me a voice to speak my beliefs, but also one to hear myself and remind me of the love I have always had for writing. ~Not to mention all the friends I have found.

Recently, we purchased our own url, and another season of our lives began. My new blog home, Walking Therein, reflects a move from Seeking Rest in the Ancient Paths to Walking Therein them. Please join me at my new home:

Walking Therein.

In addition, you can find me writing here:

Home Where They Belong

blessings~