Speaking… Their Love Language

by Miss Jessica

The idea of love languages comes from a book written by Gary Chapman, suitably titled, The Five Love Languages.  No, it isn’t about speaking ‘love’ in five different languages or five different top secret moves to make like ‘super-cool secret agents’ on TV might compose.  Instead it portrays five different, effective, and obviously, loving, ways you can show love to everyone you meet and live with.

The five are:

· Quality time

· Physical Touch

· Acts of Service

· Words of Encouragement

· Gift giving

Although we could focus on what your love language is, since this months’ focus is on love, now is a great time to think about ways you can love others.  We all like gifts, I’m sure, but for some, being showered with them just doesn’t compare to hearing  ‘I love you’ being called out every night.  For others, a listening ear to their latest fascination is so much more valuable to them personally than a hug is, despite your love for hugs!  While some rather toothless grins, others feel most special with an offer to help them with their jobs, while others days are brightened up beyond measure when given a little present.

We are all different, made by our creator.  In every situation, God calls us to think of others before ourselves.  As Paul wrote to the Thessalonians:

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. (1 Thess 5:11)

Quality Time

Can you help your brother write a story he’s begging to write, or solve a jigsaw puzzle with your Dad?  Is there a project you and your friends can work on instead of just talking?  Though sometimes, your brother – like mine – needs someone to talk to about his passions.  Getting to know someone takes time, effort and sacrifice – a sacrifice which bears beautiful fruits.

Physical Touch

One of my friends came up with this motion called “spontaneous hugs”, which is basically an on-the-spot bear hug at random moments.  There are also ladies at Church and friends of Mum’s that I will often hug; but on the other hand I have a friend who doesn’t like all the physical touch stuff, and I appreciate that about her. We are obviously ‘huggy’ people – are you one of them?  Who do you know who is?  Physical touch is one of the languages where it depends on your love language – even if you know someone who likes ‘spontaneous hugs’ doesn’t mean you have to hug them on your initiative!

Acts of Service

Check out Galatians 6:9 – “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Asking Mum if you can help with dinner, or your sister where the most convenient place to put her book, or going the extra mile when cleaning the kitchen are all seemingly silent ways we can shout to people ‘I love you’!

Words of Encouragement

One of the things I love about studying Character is how it is built into your life, your heart, your actions and your words.  A few years back I remember being encouraged by a Character First director to use the character traits I’m familiar with to encourage others in the work I see them do.  For example, I see my sister has done a great job in the kitchen that morning, I can call out, wow you’ve done a fantastic job – you have shown great diligence! Do people in your life stand a little taller when you’ve smiled and encouraged them with some uplifting words?

Gift-Giving

In a way, all of the above are a gift… but some people appreciate, more than the others, a wrapped little package with their name on it.  Can you buy your Mum her favourite chocolate, or take the time to give a present at Christmas or birthday that they will really treasure?

This February – and every day of the year – is a time God has called us to love one another.  To patiently listen, to diligently serve, to constantly build each other up through words, to generously share what God has blessed us with, and to gently touch as a way of saying ‘I’m here’… these are the different things God calls us to do every day of our lives, different ways we can show love to the different people in our lives.

Miss Jessica is a 14year old homeschool girl who lives in Australia. She loves the Lord and enjoys music, reading, history, computers and sewing. Jessica has a warped sense of humour and is always ready for a giggle. She helps her mum around the home and participates in the local church music team. You can find out more about Jess at her blog Little Miss Giggle.