The Wedding Planner in You

by Sisterlisa

A little girl playing wedding in her room, dresses in one of her mother’s older white dresses while pretending to get married. She adorns her curly hair with a veil made out of one of grandma’s scarves, and she puts on those beautiful shoes from mommy’s closet. While the shoes are several sizes too big, she still wobbles in them as she stumbles across the room and into the hallway to act as if she is gracefully gliding down the aisle. The lipstick she applied to her tiny lips creates a large smile on her face and she holds the floral arrangement from the dining room table. She is well on her way to creating the budget for her father to pay for this unbelievable wedding for her future.

Although some may think this is innocent fun for a little girl to play ‘wedding’ we must also be careful not set ourselves up for disappointment. It’s natural for a young girl to dream of being married one day, but she also needs to be careful how much she envisions of that beautiful day. I remember growing up and my cousin and I would talk for HOURS about the colors we wanted our weddings to be. We had the entire wedding planned out before we were even old enough to have a gentleman in our lives.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with imagining planning a wedding, but I do think we need to be wise how much we invest our thoughts in that. Should the Lord tarry His coming beyond your marrying years, keep in mind that your future husband will want to have a part in the wedding planning process. You may have chosen your favorite color for the main scheme of your wedding day and it just may be his least favorite color. Having your dream set in stone in your imagination could cause a rift in the future relationship God has in store for you.

Last year I assigned to my daughter, Lady Jess, to plan a wedding. Yet she was not to plan ‘her’ wedding. I gave her a projected budget to work with and she had to look in our own town for the vendors needed for this wedding planning project. We attended a bridal fair, which was fun by the way, we got to taste a lot of delicious treats set out by the caterers. ;O) I thought it was interesting that so many people assumed Lady Jess was the bride. Either they thought this fifteen year old, at the time, looked much older or they thought I was too old to be getting married. I giggled every time they asked when her wedding date was.

When we explained that we homeschool and that this was her math project they were so amazed and happy with this assignment. Many of them offered to assist in any way we needed. It was an interesting project, yet I was able to have some very deep conversations with my daughter during those months we planned and prepared for the ‘wedding’. It was a time for her and I to discuss what her father and I had in mind in our choice to restore courtship into our family’s heritage.

Much to our surprise Lady Jess has been so happy with our thoughts on the topic and has found great satisfaction in knowing we love her enough to set a firm standard against ‘dating’. She was relieved that she would not have to go through the popular dating rite of passage that other girls go through. I shared some experiences I had as an unsaved public school girl growing up and I shared some stories of girls I saw grow up in church youth groups. She has been in agreement with us ever since, that she wants to have a proper Biblical Courtship when the time is right.

Imagining a wedding can be an exciting dream, but it can also lead to a rushed relationship with the first good looking guy that sends his eye in your direction. That butterfly fluttering feeling in a girls tummy is one that is hard to ignore. We must be on guard! The enemy himself knows what our weaknesses are and he WILL send that temptation our way if we don’t guard ourselves from that. He has his demons watching us as they send temptation our way. Those principalities in the air are looking to find ways to cause us to stumble.

Ephesians 6:12, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. “

1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: “

Having a dream to be married one day is a marvelous dream, but our focus should be on our relationship with the Lord until that time comes. Now as you play dress up with the girls in your family remember where your focus is and give God the opportunity to plan your future. What you have in mind today just may change in the next five or more years. If you would like more info on a ‘Wedding Planning Project’ keep your eye out for an upcoming article from Growing in Grace Magazine.
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Sisterlisa is the owner and Editor-in-Chief of Growing in Grace Magazine and owner of AGMinistries, a devotion blog for women. She is married and homeschools her four children while remaining active in community service and leads the deaf ministry at her church.

**You can read about Josh and Anna Duggar’s Story of Courtship. Their wedding story is being aired on TLC, The Learning Channel.