Be the Best Pen Pal you Can Be

by Miss Jessica

When I was eight, we met a family who stayed at our house for a week. Their second eldest was a girl a few years older than I. When they moved on, we agreed to become ‘pen pals’. Since then, I have twelve other people I want to keep in touch with. A large amount; I know! Yet how could I possibly resist? Although challenging, writing letters is great fun and is very rewarding.

Most of my pen pals are people I know and have personally wanted to keep in touch with. (Strictly speaking, we aren’t really pen pals, since we know each other, but what would we call each other?) Where do I find the time for this? Occasionally, I realize that I haven’t written to my friends for what seems like ages, and had better get some letters written soon. I aim to write at least one letter or email a day until I get it all done. It works fantastically!

A few years back, I was writing more of a ‘personalized newsletter’ to about eight people, in which I wrote one letter with all my recent news, changed the name for each person and added in a personal paragraph. For instance, in ‘Mandy’s’ letter I wrote a paragraph asking her if she had acquired any new reptile pets, but changed it to ask ‘Fran’ about her trip around Australia. Most likely this helped me keep consistent, but after a while I wanted to write completely individual letters. I started handwriting them.

Here’s a couple of Tips for Letter-writing:

1. Don’t feel like you have to talk about the same information to every person you write to, especially if that next person happens to be her sister! Write down stuff the person will enjoy hearing from you.

2. When replying to a letter, never, ever reply to questions like this:

Question 1: yes

Question 2: yes

Question 3: no

Question 4: yes
People don’t tend to keep their letters, let alone remember what the question was! Instead, include the question in the answer, like so, “In your last letter you asked me if I had any pets. Yes, we have a bunny rabbit, Peter; named after the famous one in Beatrix Potter’s books!”

3. Choose your words carefully. In letters, the recipient can’t see your facial expressions or hear your voice; something can read completely different than how you meant it to be.

4. Don’t be afraid to include a verse or be serious about something – letters don’t have to be all family news reports! Christian martyr Rachel Scott wrote to her friend after explaining how her school friends had ‘dumped’ her for being a Christian, “I am not going to apologize for speaking the Name of Jesus, I am not going to justify my faith to them, and I am not going to hide the light that God has put in me. If I have to sacrifice everything… I will” Don’t be afraid to talk about God in your letters – you never know the results.

5. Asking a question after you’ve finished a paragraph helps give some leads for your friend to follow up on in their next letter.

6. There are some advantages to writing a letter by hand. For example, writing it by hand means you don’t have to have access to a computer – you can take it anywhere and do it anywhere! It shows your personality through your handwriting, which reflects you, and shows the time you put into the letter. Don’t worry about it being mistake-free – if you do, it will be painstakingly slow!

7. When you decide to write to someone, it has become your responsibility. Letter writing requires consistency, diligence and even to an extent, initiative. Enjoy it, but be consistent! On the note of consistency, be aware of how frequently others write to you. While they might have the same problem of consistency as you do, they might find writing a very hard thing to do. If that’s the case, don’t bombard them with lots of long letters, giving them the pressure to do the same. Still write faithfully, but maybe not as often as you write to others. Know what you are getting into – writing letters does take time, worth it though it be. If I am going to write to twelve people once a month twelve times a month, I am prescribing myself to a staggering amount of 144 letters a year! Stay diligent!

8. Have you ever read Daddy Long Legs, Good Wives, or Anne of Windy Willows? In these books, Judy, Jo, Amy and Anne write with long words, wit and innocent honesty. Trying to imitate them sure can bring on a laugh!

Letter writing is so beneficial, because it develops friendships, not to mention you can learn all kinds of things. It can build skills, such as learning to communicate well, learning to choose words carefully and learning to ask interesting questions, which God can use later in life through relationships with others in real life. Have fun, stay consistent and be yourself!

Miss Jessica is a 14year old homeschool girl who lives in Australia. She loves the Lord and enjoys music, reading, history, computers and sewing. Jessica has a warped sense of humour and is always ready for a giggle. She helps her mum around the home and participates in the local church music team. You can find out more about Jess at her blog Little Miss Giggle