It Doesn’t Matter

Many of us know the story of Job and how much he suffered. He lost his children, his home, all his cattle, and even suffered from boils all over his body. We hear about the ‘patience’ of Job, yet we forget to take notice that he also exemplified the Spirit’s fruit of longsuffering.

When Lady Jess was about four years old, she suffered emotionally from her daddy not being in our lives. Some of you know our story of how God delivered my husband from an unhealthy lifestyle of drug abuse. We don’t hold that back as a secret from the public eye. It is very much a part of our testimony in how God has changed our lives. Whenever I write or speak about this story, it all is to the glory of God and not to be a detriment to my husband’s walk with Christ. His desire is that the Lord would use his story as a way to reach other men so that their families can also be restored through the power of Christ’s resurrection.

One night, when Lady Jess was four years old, I tucked her into bed in my room. My mother was over for a visit and she was going to be sleeping in Jess’ room. My mother and I stayed up later than Jess so that we could talk. A while later I could hear talking from my room. It was a slight whisper, or so it seemed from where I was in the living room. I thought she was being disobedient to me tucking her in for the night, so I slipped quietly over to the door that was cracked open. What I saw caused me to freeze in my steps. I motioned to my mother so that she could come see what I was seeing. There in my room, on her knees, beside my bed, was little Lady Jess. This four year old little girl had her head bowed and her hands firmly folded and cried in agony to the Lord. I had never, and still have never, seen a small child such as this, agonize in prayer like that. She cried and sobbed out her words to the point where she could barely breathe. These were the words she prayed,

“Dear God..Oh Dear God(sniffle)………(sobs and deep breathing) won’t you PLEASE bring my daddy back home?!?(long sobs……) I miss him so much! Wherever he is right now, please tell him that I love him(silence……) and bring my daddy home. please God, Oh PLEASE bring my daddy home soon. Help him to love you and make his heart right with you…..”

I quietly crept back away from the door to allow her to have that moment alone with her God. That night I realized that my four year old daughter had a very real and personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. As much as I wanted to rush to her side to bring comfort to her and hold her in my arms, I knew that honor belonged only to the Lord himself. His Holy Spirit is the only one who could bring comfort to her little aching heart. I don’t know how many nights she prayed like that, but I do know that she was bearing the fruit of longsuffering.

Now maybe you question the Lord, because after all how could a loving God allow such a heartache in a small child like that? This is a serious question that many people find themselves asking time and time again. Our dear friend Marsha does not get to snuggle with her little son, Christian, anymore and his brothers feel that loss. Christian went to heaven just a few weeks ago. This last month may have felt like a year to their family, yet the pain can sometimes feel like he just left yesterday. Our other dear friend Miss Megan has been without her precious daughter Kelly for some time now and her sons miss their sister. Another friend of ours, a single mom, just went to heaven and left behind three teen boys. Why do children go through such suffering?

I can tell you this, my daughter Jess exhibits the fruit of longsuffering and it has enhanced her walk with God and her faith in Him as well. She may have gone through a tremendously difficult time at such a young age, but God is always working! Shortly after that night when she prayed, she was sitting in Sunday School. Next to her sat a girl who could not stop the flow of tears from her eyes. Every second her crying became stronger until the teacher could no longer teach through her sadness. Their teacher was our Pastor’s Wife. She told me about this later that night. Our Pastor’s Wife said that this story was the topic of conversation around Pastor’s dinner table that day.

She looked at the new little girl and said, “Sweetie, why are you crying? Are you ok?” The girl replied with tears streaming down her face, “The police came to my house last night and took my daddy away. I don’t know when I’ll get to see him again.” At that moment, before the teacher could say anything, little Lady Jess, at the age of four years old, wrapped her arm around the little girl and said these words, “It’s ok. I’ll be your friend today and I won’t leave you.”

Little Lady Jess stayed by her side ALL morning and never took her arm off the other girl’s shoulder. God has used her own grief and sorrow and turned it into a precious fruit called longsuffering. She knows that God is faithful. She easily could have lost her faith and cried over her own sadness, yet she was filled with the Spirit and showed compassion to a little girl who was experiencing a similar loss, the loss of her daddy being at home.

Little Lady Jess continued to pray for her daddy and did not give up hope. Not only that, but she continued to pray through her pain and when the day came that her daddy finally did come home, she experienced that sweet answer to prayer with tears yet again. Only this time her tears were of joy. The Spirit had brought a relief to her heart and her burden was lifted.

A few years after our family was reunited, Lady Jess had an opportunity to participate in ‘Show and Tell’ at her Christian School. It was near Christmas so she wrote a story about why Jesus is better than Santa Clause. At the end of the story she says, “and Jesus is better than Santa Clause because Jesus changes lives. He changed my daddy’s life and so this is why my show and tell is my daddy.” Then her daddy walked into the room and the teacher cried. Her daddy spoke to the kids for a minute about hod God does change lives still today and then went back to work for the day. Two kids in class rose their hands and with tears in their eyes asked Lady Jess, “Can God help my dad too?” Both of those children had dads who were in prison. She was so happy to know that what she had suffered through for so many years, was bringing encouragement to other people.

I know it’s hard to live day to day with a heartache, but God is still in control. He knows our pain and Jesus still prays for us today. He suffered through a cruel death on the cross for us. Thinking about how much pain we suffer, does not even compare to what he suffered for us. We can take one day at a time, pray to the Lord, and bear the fruit of longsuffering. It really doesn’t matter what we go through in comparison to what Jesus went through for us.