Think Pink: Simple Table Manners

Because each culture has its own set of manners, different behavior is acceptable in one place where it may not be in another. I have friends in who were living in Turkey, and they shared with me some of the Turkish culture. Some of the things the Turks do as tradition are quite strange to me, but that’s the way they live. In some countries, like Asia, it’s polite to belch after a meal to show that you enjoyed it, whereas it isn’t polite here in the United States. I think, though, quite a few have actually forgotten what is proper etiquette at the table.

Only a few centuries ago manners meant everything because they determined if you were suitable company to be acquainting oneself with. When dining with company, one had to learn a great deal of complex rules about manners and etiquette. If you read books or watch films set during the 18th and 19th centuries you may hear of “accomplished young ladies” who spend a great deal of time learning many activities so they can be pronounced as “accomplished and proper”.

Here are the simple basics of proper table manners so you can be an accomplished, well-bred young lady. I hope they will help you be on your best behavior while you are at the table.

The Simple Table Manners
When seated at the dinner table, if not already appointed, you don’t take a seat another person might want. In my house there is always a chair that one of the little siblings wants to seat in. Sometimes they will stand there and argue over it, when really they could just both be polite and prefer each other.

When not using your hands for eating, they should be placed in your lap, and your elbows should always remain off the table [see below].

Never place you elbows on the table. You may take up too much space and you may end up bumping your neighbor on accident, which is most embarrassing. Instead, you may place your forearms on the table. That way you may have a place to rest your arms without taking up much space and are in less danger of bumping someone.

Remember never to kick or swing your feet while sitting at the table, lest you kick the person sitting across from you. I have ended up with bruised shins before because the person across from me accidentally kicked me. Keep your feet firmly on the ground.

One of the original rules of proper etiquette was that cackling or chuckling was highly disapproved of at the table. However, grinning and smiling were approved of. Cackling and chuckling created a disagreeable clamoring and distorting of the face. I can see why this was so ill-favoured. People can get pretty obnoxious when they cackle aloud, and it can disturb others. Laying back or slouching at the table were also naturally considered very rude manners.

The conversations over dinner should always be about proper and modest subjects. A few centuries ago you did not talk about the food on the table or even the subject of food in general, but I think I may safely say that it is polite to compliment the chef.

You should never gossip or talk about slanderous news at the table either (or anywhere). The table is not a gathering place for the latest ill news.

It is polite to wait until the person who cooked the food sits down and is also served. Never began to eat until all parties are seated and a prayer has been spoken. Since we are ladies we should always see if we may serve the others.

Do not let your silverware touch the tablecloth after it has been used. Keep your silverware on your dish, and never place unwanted food on the table.

Always serve the guests first, and if no guests are present, always serve the father first, unless he prefers otherwise. This is a sign of respect to him as the head of the household and the man of the house. After he is served proceed to serve the rest of the adult. When all adults are served you should then serve the littlest children. My ten-year-old brother usually waits until the ladies are served before he is.

Discussion:
I know most of you knew some of those, but how many did you know?
How many of them do you apply to your table manners?
Why are these rules of etiquette important, even if no one else follows them?
Are there any other ways you can think of to be proper at the table?
In what ways you encourage your siblings to be more polite?

History Trivia:
Did you know that in the early 19th century "dinner" was what a late meal was called, while "supper" was a snack before bed?


Blessings to you as you Grow in the Grace of our Lord!